I think I died a long time ago.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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