saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
