I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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