Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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