She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
