I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
