.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
