Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need help removing her.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
