Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
