Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
