Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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