I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
