Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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