I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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