Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize