p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
