i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
