in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
the liver wants what the liver wants
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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