two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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