Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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