I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
