You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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