Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
