Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
