We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
