I heard we made out
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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