my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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