this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
