why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
