I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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