im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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