garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up under a house in Key West
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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