if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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