God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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