You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
