All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
