I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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