She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just pee around me
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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