Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
