He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
