Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
