One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
