Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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