Im at strip club and am horny
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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