hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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