The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
