you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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