I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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