u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
