You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
