After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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