I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
