i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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