So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
