listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
