The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
