Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
