Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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