Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
