no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
