All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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